The Case Of The Missing Marmalade

Nobody in the village suspected that the old lean-to opposite the bakery was headquarters for one of the most secret organisations in the world.

To most people, it looked like a few bits of wood, a tired roof, and an old carrot box.

But some of the letters on the box had faded, leaving only:

CA T

And that, according to Mister M, could only mean one thing.

C.A.T.

Cat Action Team.

Mister M was sitting on top of the old carrot box.

Shadow was sitting below him.

There was a space beside Shadow.

It was Marmalade’s space.

It was empty.

Mister M looked at the empty space.

Shadow looked at the empty space.

The empty space remained empty.

Mister M narrowed his eyes.

“Agents,” he said, “we have a situation.”

Shadow sat up straight.

Mister M looked at the empty space again.

“Agent,” he said, correcting himself. “We have a situation.”

Shadow looked serious.

“Marmalade is missing,” said Mister M.

Shadow’s tail twitched.

“Missing?” he said.

“Missing,” said Mister M. “He has failed to report for morning briefing.”

Shadow looked around headquarters.

There was no Marmalade beside the box.

There was no Marmalade behind the box.

There was no Marmalade inside the box.

This was unusual.

Marmalade was always present for morning briefing.

Especially if there was any chance that morning briefing might involve breakfast.

“When was he last seen?” asked Shadow.

“Yesterday afternoon,” said Mister M. “Near the bakery wall.”

Shadow nodded.

“That is one of his regular positions.”

“Indeed,” said Mister M. “You will conduct a search.”

Shadow stood up.

“I shall not be seen,” he said.

“A missing agent is a serious matter,” said Mister M.

“I may have to refer this to M.I.5.”

“Missing Items 5?” said Shadow.

Mister M gave a grave nod.

“If Marmalade cannot be located quickly, yes."

Shadow began with the bakery wall.

Marmalade was not there.

He checked the sunny doorstep opposite the bakery.

Marmalade was not there.

He checked behind the bins.

Marmalade was not there.

He checked under the bench.

Marmalade was not there.

He checked the corner where the fish van sometimes stopped.

Marmalade was not there either.

A woman carrying a shopping bag stopped and looked down.

“I wonder what that black cat is doing,” she said.

Shadow froze.

Then he moved very slowly behind a plant pot.

He was fairly certain he had not been spotted.

The search continued.

Shadow checked the alley behind the bakery.

He checked the wall near the butcher’s shop.

He checked the place where someone had once dropped half a sausage roll.

There was no Marmalade.

This was serious.

Shadow was about to return to headquarters when he noticed something new.

Across the square, beside the old gift shop, a small café had opened.

There were two tables outside.

There were four chairs.

There were people drinking coffee.

There were plates.

There were crumbs.

Shadow stopped.

Under the nearest table, partly hidden by a chair leg, sat Marmalade.

He was very still.

He was watching a plate.

Shadow crossed the square carefully.

A man at one of the tables looked down.

“Now there’s a black cat,” he said.

Shadow ignored this.

He slipped beneath the table.

Marmalade did not look round.

“You are missing,” said Shadow.

“No I’m not,” said Marmalade.

“You are not at headquarters,” said Shadow.

“I am undercover,” said Marmalade.

Shadow looked at him.

Marmalade looked at the plate.

A small piece of cake fell to the ground.

Marmalade placed one paw on it.

“For evidence,” he said.

Shadow blinked.

“Mister M is concerned.”

“As he should be,” said Marmalade. “A new establishment has opened in the village. Food is being carried outside. Pieces are falling to the ground. Someone had to investigate.”

“You missed morning briefing,” said Shadow.

“I was already on duty,” said Marmalade.

“Who assigned you?” asked Shadow.

Marmalade looked serious.

“The evidence.”

Shadow considered this.

Another crumb fell from the table.

Marmalade inspected it immediately.

“Is the evidence safe?” asked Shadow.

“It is disappearing,” said Marmalade. “But I am doing my best.”

“I must report my findings”, said Shadow.

Shadow returned to headquarters.

Mister M was waiting on top of the carrot box.

“Report,” he said.

“Marmalade has been located,” said Shadow.

“Condition?” asked Mister M.

“Comfortable,” said Shadow. “Possibly overfed.”

Mister M’s eyes narrowed.

“Explain.”

“A new café has opened,” said Shadow. “Marmalade is conducting surveillance beneath an outside table.”

Mister M was silent for a moment.

“Surveillance?” he said.

“He says he is checking for discarded evidence.”

Mister M jumped down from the box.

“Take me to him.”

“Take me to him.”

Shadow led Mister M across the square.

They kept close to the walls.

They passed the bakery.

They crossed behind a row of flowerpots.

A small child pointed.

“Look, two cats.”

Shadow lowered his head.

“I am fairly certain we have not been spotted,” he whispered.

Mister M said nothing.

They reached the café.

Marmalade was still under the table.

He was now watching a different plate.

Mister M looked at him.

Marmalade looked back.

“Agent Marmalade,” said Mister M, “you failed to attend morning briefing.”

Marmalade sat up.

“I was engaged in field work.”

“You did not inform headquarters.”

“There was no time,” said Marmalade. “The first pastry had already arrived.”

Mister M looked at the café tables.

A waiter came out carrying a tray.

A small biscuit slid from one saucer and landed near the wall.

All three cats looked at it.

Nobody moved.

For a moment.

Then Marmalade moved.

He inspected the biscuit carefully.

Then he ate it.

Mister M watched him.

“Evidence?” asked Shadow.

“Very suspicious,” said Marmalade. “Very suspicious.”

Mister M gave a slow nod.

“The new café will require observation,” he said.

Marmalade looked hopeful.

“Continuous observation?”

“Occasional observation,” said Mister M.

Marmalade looked disappointed.

“But thorough occasional observation,” added Mister M.

Marmalade brightened.

The three agents returned to headquarters.

Mister M climbed back onto the old carrot box.

Shadow and Marmalade sat below him.

Mister M looked down from the top of the carrot box.

“Agent Marmalade,” he said, “a missing agent is a very serious matter.”

Marmalade lowered his head.

“Yes, Mister M.”

“For a time,” said Mister M, “I considered referring the matter to M.I.5.”

Marmalade blinked.

“M.I.5?”

“Missing Items 5,” said Shadow.

Marmalade frowned.

“What happened to Missing Items 1, 2, 3 and 4?”

Mister M lowered his voice.

“Classified.”

Marmalade thought about this.

“Do they investigate missing biscuits?”

Mister M closed his eyes for a moment.

“The case is closed,” he said.

To anyone passing by, they looked like three ordinary street cats.

Which, of course, was exactly what they wanted people to think.

Case file closed. please leave any relevant comments and likes on Jobey's facebook post here. Thanks.

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